A new doctrine of game making
Created by Kimberly Kubus
Officially endorsed & supported by PG Games
1) Your game must follow the theme of death, darkness or weirdness. If you have problems with that, you can have a theme about using wizards for blowing purposes.
2) If you use sounds in your game then there will be no music. If you want to use music, there must be no sound. If you are really lazy, just skip all these rules and down to rule no #12.
3) Using 3d rendering or things bordering on the line of 3d is strictly prohibited.
4) If you use more than 666 sprites, then you just need to get laid.
5) Using the colors "black" or "white" is not allowed, unless you are making a black & white game of course. But you can pick as many as five different colors for your game, using any more will result in something else than cheapness, which is of course not allowed.
6) It is important that you take credit for your own work in the game, and make it very obvious that it is made by you. Feel free to stick your name in as much places as you want, even if it doesn't belong there.
7) There is no rule seven. This means, you can make up your own rule here and follow it, aslong as it does not break with any of the other cheap rules.
8) Game resolution must result in each seperate x and y to use the same amount of digits. Examples of valid resolutions: 666x777, 3x111, 5555x33 or 444x444.
9) Using advanced techniques is prohibited. Including use of particles, gas ovens or room transistion effects. If you have troubles deciding which is advanced or not, then just put in a toilet there and you will be ok.
10) If you have a very important message you want to deliever, then make sure it is backwards. If it is a bunch of satanic stuff, then make sure there is an oppertunity for exorcism included.
11) Your game must take good use of strong lightning, so that people will not miss out on your great graphics.
12) None of these rules apply if you are making "Cooking Breakfast 3".
I promise to stay faithful to these rules, in both times of evil and goodness. And thus I make my BARF OF INSANITY AND STAY FAITHFUL TO THE RULES OF CHEAP GARBAGE.